Nothing But Trouble: The Trouble With Kisses
by ShyAnon
Summary: Happily ever after? Heh... Not if Dante has anything to say about it! Companion two-shot to Nothing But Trouble. VergilxLady. Part 1 up!


**Hey guys! Sorry my updates are taking so long... Work is really beginning to take over my life to the point, as I might've mentioned, I've begun bringing it **_**home **_**with me. Ughhh... If only I had devil boys hanging around to help me. **

**-Imagines Dante on the phones-**

**"Yes, this is Dante and I'm calling cuz you need to update your shit. Seriously. No... No... There will be no attitude. Name, address and e-mail now or else I'll find you and shove my gun so far up your a--"**

**"I think it's time you went to sleep Dante." Vergil interrupts as he hangs up the phone watching as his brother's eye twitches irritably before coming to his, looking blood shot and crazy.**

**"I'm FINE! GOD! LEAVE ME ALONE!" Dante snaps before he runs off crying. "I HATE you Vergil! Stupid!"**

**Needless to say I've been a bit of a bitch at work...lmao So maybe having short tempered devil boys helping might only make things worse. :P Hmm... where was I? Oh yes, story. Right.**

**To help tide you over I decided to do a two-shot companion for Nothing But Trouble. I'll try my best to get everything out to you once my writer's fog has cleared. :P So please bear with me. :)**

**Sooo...**

**Note:**** This is a companion two-shot to my story **_**Nothing But Trouble**_**. It might help to read that to understand how the pairing was established. :) **

**R&R and enjoy!**

**P.S. - To anyone who have sent me a message (either PM or review) I will get back to you asap! Sorry it's taking me so long to respond. :(**

* * *

**The Trouble of Kisses**

**Part 1**

He knew she was there and felt a pang of annoyance at what he also knew she was planning to do. The same thing she did every time she came to visit and found him sleeping on the couch.

"Dannte..." Lady whispered.

"Don't even think about it." Dante snapped causing her to stop mid attack and glare down at him.

"No fair."

Dante rolled over on the couch to see Lady standing next to it with her hands on her hips looking pretty put out. He only glared up at her.

"I'm not your boyfriend, why don't you go and mess with _him_." Dante said peevishly as he rolled back over uncaringly. Without warning she grabbed his leg and yanked him off the couch as she had originally intended to do.

"If you weren't so dense you'd remember that we had business to attend to today," she said simply as she brushed her hands together as if dusting them off. She knelt down just as Dante sat up and the pair glared at each other.

Things... had become complicated since his brother and Lady had finally hooked up. He had thought it a good thing for them to pull one another out of their shells but like everything else there _always_ had to be a catch. Instead of pulling them out of their shells they combined them together to make one big shell for two.

The company he once enjoyed from them was almost non-existent and it _annoyed _him to no end since he relied heavily on their companionship prior to them both moving in together. Now he was the third wheel of the group and he absolutely hated it!

Worst still Lady's moods had gone all bipolar on him, which wasn't too far off from her typical mood patterns, but she'd become so... happy. It was unsettling to see her so smiley and playful. He dreaded to think of what Vergil would be like if he ever bothered to come over. He still hadn't gotten over the nightmare where he saw Lady and Vergil _skipping_ through a field of puppies and butterflies... Then riding..._unicorns. _Fucking _unicorns _man...

It all made his head hurt to think about. _Unicorns..._ He repressed a shiver and the feeling of vomit coming up his throat.

"What business?" Dante asked after a long tense moment of glaring.

"You're going to make me say it aren't you?" Lady asked with a hard look and a slight flush in her cheeks.

"It's been two months. Get over yourselves," he replied with only a shadow of a grin.

"Present. You promised to help me pick out a birthday present for your brother." Lady replied after another long moment.

"Could always gets him a tube of astroglide... OW!"

Lady punched him so hard in the chest he felt his heart stop for a second, squeeze, and then resume its beating. Lady's face was beet red now and she stood up to walk a ways away from him.

"C'mon. Get him a sword or something. He won't care one way or--," but he stopped when she turned to look at him. She looked angry but there was a bit of hurt in her eyes at his words. Dante sighed in frustration and stood up. He just wasn't use to dealing with this kind of stuff and Lady was definitely the last person he ever thought he'd have to reassure on anything.

Maybe he wanted to mess with the two a bit, something that he could not do when neither was around to be at his disposal. The only way he could get Lady over was for work, and whenever he asked her if she wanted to go to the bar or stay for pizza she always said the same thing.

_Can't. Vergil's waiting for me_.

OK, so he was slightly jealous of their secretive little relationship. Not that he wanted Lady like that, but Vergil was consuming all her free time and thoughts it seemed. Lady was _his_ friend too, but she was so wrapped up in Vergil's needs and wants he felt left behind. If only there was some way he could wedge himself in even for a second to remind them he was alive...

Then Lady touched her mouth for a split second, a nervous habit she did whenever she was thinking of grump ass and something clicked in his mind. Their birthday... Vergil's gift. It was too perfect!

"OK then, I'll help you find a gift for Vergil. On one condition." Dante said before grinning at the look of doubt suddenly crossing Lady's eyes.

"I don't do _conditions_," she growled to him. "If you're going to be such a pain then I'll find something myself."

Lady turned to walk for the door while Dante sat down on the couch comfortably. He let her touch the knob before offering.

"That's fine. Although I already know the one thing Vergil wants for his birthday. Maybe I'll go get it myself to give to him?" He said thoughtfully trying not to be too obvious. Lady's hand stopped on the doorknob and her back stiffened.

"What's that?" She asked in turn trying also to not be obvious and failing miserably.

"I'm not telling. Can't wait to see his eyes light up when he opens it though. It's rare Vergil gets excited about anything, but I know without a doubt he'll be putty in my hands when he gets that." Dante replied twisting the knife a little deeper in making her stay.

He looked up to see Lady staring at him as if he was suddenly her new favorite toy, but trying slightly to hide it. Things were quiet so Dante got up while she thought about it to pour himself a bit of Jack he kept in his desk drawer.

"What's this condition?" Lady asked. He let the moment carry just so he could feel her intense glare as she waited impatiently for him to answer. He took a quick shot and let it ease down smoothly, then made eye contact with her again.

"It's more of a bet. You like a good gamble don't you?"

"Of course. Any bet with you means I'm _going _to win. It's a rule of nature at this point," she snorted as she came to stand before the desk.

"Well, if you're so sure then you won't mind taking me on then?"

"Stop yappin' and get to the point Dante."

"OK then," he said as he pulled out another shot glass, filled it, and slid it across the table to her. He then poured himself another and lifted it up. "You win I will tell you what his ideal gift is. If I win though... you have to visit me every day for a week regardless of whether or not there is work. After the week is up, we set up a permanent poker night once a week and you _have _to bring Vergil with you."

"And the bet itself?"

"You cannot kiss my brother on the lips until the stroke of midnight tonight when it becomes our birthday. "

Lady was eerily quiet at this and Dante was internally rolling around laughing inside. There wasn't much Lady couldn't do or accomplish which was why she always won their bets. But this was something out of her control, because even if she could command her hormones all day, she could not control Vergil's. Which reminded him...

"Oh, and you cannot tell my brother about the bet. If you do, I win by default." Dante added as he lifted the shot glass towards her.

"How can you know if I kiss him on the lips?" Lady asked doubtfully. "How can I be sure you're not just going to say we kissed just so you can win?"

"Good point, we'll need a third party won't we?" Dante replied thoughtfully. Then he called out, "Hey fancy pants, you want a cup of coffee?"

"Excuse me?" Lady asked.

"Not today Dante, I am rather tired."

Lady turned to her left to find a man sitting on Dante's desk looking rather annoyed. He had a tea cup held close to his face as if suddenly brought there mid-sip.

"Artemis, how's it going?" Dante asked grinning.

Artemis turned to survey them both and Lady just blinked at him. The overly tall and agile male set his cup down on the desk before standing. He gave a polite nod to Lady before turning his attention on the devil hunter.

"Spare me please Dante. I told you only to use that phrase in case of an emergency. Since you appear to have all your limbs, are not engulfed in flames, or being set upon by a male hooker named Big John I assume this is not an emergency?" Artemis asked dryly.

"Big John?" Lady asked quizzically as she looked between the two.

"Don't ask, don't tell. May I go home now?" Artemis replied.

"Dante, who is this guy?"

"A flaming drag queen." Dante answered jokingly at the Big John remark. Artemis, for all his obvious male features had overly long black hair too straight to be normal. His wide silver eyes turned to glare at Dante looking tired and slightly red. "He's so pretty when he's angry."

"Enough!" Artemis shouted and it actually echoed around the room.

"Let me guess, you have a hang over don't you?" Dante asked as he eyed his friend. "Not quite as perky as usual."

"I'm suffering from insomnia, and being suddenly summoned into an overly bright room is not helping it at all Dante." Artemis replied with a sigh.

"Heh. This is Artie--."

"Artemis."

"That's what I said. Artie's my buddy."

"Artie looks like he's going to kill you." Lady said in a laughing tone as she eyed the obviously annoyed man.

"Do not toy with me Dante... What have you called me here for?" Artemis sighed tiredly as he put his hand to his forehead.

"I want you to help settle a bet between Lady and I." Dante said evenly as he eyed his friend.

Artemis let out an even more mournful sigh.

"I truly hate you some times Dante."

"Awww, you're making me blush. Anywho, I need you to tail Lady and Vergil and make sure they don't get too smoochy. Think ya can handle that?" Dante asked.

Artemis looked up at Dante with a rather sour look on his face.

"_Sure_, why not. After all I'm not sleeping at night, so why even try when I could be do something _productive_?" Artemis seemed to seethe.

"That's the spirit Artie!" Dante responded jovially as he poured a third shot and slid it across the table at Artemis. The man caught it and brought it to his nose to sniff at, flinched away before taking it quickly. He shivered and made a disgusted noise. "You're the best man, really."

"Save it. Good day miss." Artemis said as he bowed his head again towards Lady and vanished.

"So... is he going to do it?" Lady asked confused by his sudden disappearance.

"Oh yeah. The shot was contractual. That's how we make deals." Dante replied with a smirk.

"It would figure dealing with you involves alcohol." Lady said with a snort. Dante lifted his still full glass up.

"Drink to ours?"

Lady lifted her own glass to his, clicked them together and then downed it in a single gulp.

"You have a nice day now Lady..."

--

Lady rode home slowly contemplating how she would win this bet. It sucked that to get Vergil something special for his birthday she would have to deny him the kisses she secretly savored so much.

She figured she'd just play possum and say she wasn't feeling good. It might work if she stayed in bed all day with a 'headache' or something that just prevented her from getting too close to him.

That was the key of course, being _close_ to Vergil. They could go an entire day about their own business without saying a single word to one another even when under the same roof. But the minute they crossed paths in close proximity they seemed to recall simultaneously that they craved each others attention and it always ended up leaving a trail of clothing, knocked over furniture and dents in the walls.

Lady flushed at the thought. It had been two months and nothing had changed. It was almost scary how comfortable she was living with him now.

Even though he stayed up late after she went to bed at night she would always find him beside her when she woke which filled her with a sense of security. It wasn't something she was use to feeling at all since previously she was always on guard. With him near she found she did not have to.

Lady entered the house quietly as not to rouse too much attention towards herself. Apparently the effort wasn't needed because as she crossed past the front room she saw an arm poking over the end of the couch, which was facing away from her. Very slowly she walked towards it to peer over the back.

Vergil was asleep with one arm up over his head, dangling over the couch. His other was across his chest, a splayed open book laying with his thumb still stuck inside of it. There were a couple stacks of books on the coffee table and floor around him. His clothing wasn't too disheveled but Lady smirked as she noted his feet were bare and dangling off the other end. She smiled appreciatively at the small glimpse of his stomach as his shirt was pulled up slightly, fine hairs trailing down to the waistband of his pants... _This wasn't going to be easy._

Before him the male anatomy never crossed her mind as vaguely interesting at all. Yet she found she liked looking at him while he slept, or while he was doing mundane things. She enjoyed brushing past him to feel the strength hidden beneath the folds of his perfectly starched shirts and wrinkling him a bit just to make her mark on him. He took it in stride, seeming to not care one way or another if she felt inclined to stand too close or brush against him. She secretly thought he enjoyed it even if he remained silent.

Truth be told, the quieter he was the more intrigued by him she became. Perhaps she just enjoyed him catching her staring at him, shaking his head and returning to whatever it was he was doing. Yet if she continued to watch him she noted he couldn't concentrate. It had nothing to do with annoyance. If she was patient... Oh so persistent about her stare he would soon let out a telltale sigh which she followed up by pretending she wasn't watching him at all. It earned her a sneak attack that wasn't so sneaky as she had orchestrated it to begin with. But she liked it.

She liked that she held such sway over him with a single pointed glance.

Lady reached down and gently pulled the book from his hand, book marking it for him before setting it aside. She pulled the blanket off the couch and unfolded it.

Perhaps if he remained sleeping for the rest of the day she wouldn't have to worry about him trying to kiss her. Maybe he would wake a few minutes to midnight and she wouldn't have to try at all. Ha! The look on Dante's face would be priceless.

Lady pushed the blanket over the side and laid it gently on him, even covering his feet to make sure he didn't catch a chill. Then she watched him in the same way she tended to do in the moments before he woke every morning. She leaned over and pushed his hair back gently from his face with a bit of a smile before moving back to go about her business.

Before her arm made it over the back of the couch though it was grabbed and she was yanked over the side, landing directly on top of her sleeping lover.

"Is that any way to greet someone?"

Lady looked down to see him staring up at her with blue peaking beneath heavy lids. He was no doubt referring to the fact that under normal circumstance at the least she would've stolen a kiss. But she couldn't...

He began to lift his head to come towards hers, and Lady sat up straddling him as her hands pushed him back down into the couch. He raised an eyebrow looking somewhat intrigued by her sudden aggression.

"I'm not use to it, but if you wish to be the aggressive one by all means," he mused as he laid back and closed his eyes in waiting. Lady blinked a few times knowing he had it all wrong, but how could she get out of this? He felt warm despite having lain exposed on the couch and now on him she could smell his cologne. Her body reacted to how it always did when in the face of his passion and it did not help that his hands were not too modestly under her skirt on her bare thighs to keep her in place.

Lady leaned forward, knowing it was dangerous but opted instead of kissing his _oh so tempting _mouth and instead kissed his cheek softly. As long as she didn't kiss his mouth she would be fine.

When she pulled back he was watching her.

"I have things to do. You rest up and we'll catch up later." Lady murmured before sitting up to insure he did not try and kiss her.

"And if I don't wish to wait for _later_?" He asked in a testing tone. Lady's mouth twitched when she felt his nails scrape lightly on her thigh. Then a huge smile came across her face.

"Sucks to be you."

His eyes narrowed but it did not bother her as she lifted his hands and got back onto her own feet. Lady could play this off as teasing for the time being, something she did when she really did have something to take care of before devoting her time to him.

Lady took off up the stairs feeling her chest thudding despite having escaped... for now.

--

A few hours passed to Lady's relief with no sight of Vergil anywhere.

Then again the fact that she had hidden up in the attic since coming upstairs seemed to help that.

Since they began living together Lady had taken it upon herself to sort out the upstairs rooms that were filled with piles of books, weaponry, scrolls and the things that she would expect someone who traveled as much as Vergil would have. The only place she had not yet touched was the attic.

It wasn't that she was scared but all the things up there belonged to the previous owners of the house and somehow since learning of their daughter Mary she felt the need to leave the attic as it was.

While she didn't want to disturb anything she really had nothing else better to do and so she decided to go snooping around and cleaning off years worth of cobwebs and dust.

The room itself she had come to discover belonged to Mary. It was not at all like the standard attic once she was able to get a light going up there, finally convincing Vergil to get electricity installed so she didn't break her neck.

It was divided into three sections. The main area when you walked up the stairs, an alcove area to the right side and then a doored off section that had an old tub and sink it in. She figured it was the equivalent of a small apartment for one minus a kitchen and a toilet. It had a skylight sitting over an antique bed with a iron head and footboard that showed the dust on the air as it passed through the light. At the top of the stairs a stained glass window of varying colors shown brightly over the stacks of boxes.

Lady knew she shouldn't have been going through the items, but then again her natural curiosity to know more about the people who originally lived in this house won over her sense of morals. So she pulled a large sheet piled with dust off of an antique armoire feeling more anticipation than guilt.

It was cherry wood with intricate carvings of flowery vines in the doors. Eagerly she opened it to find seriously old clothing inside as well as hats, ribbons and shoes.

"Wicked," she murmured as she reached inside and began rifling through the clothes hanging. They were made up of dresses with lace, more ribbons and cut in a much more modest fashion like those worn in the early 1900's.

Her hand passed across a lilac tinted gown, probably worn more as evening wear due to the capped sleeves and lower neckline. She pulled it out and admired it a bit. Not exactly something she would be caught dead in, but then again no girl is ever really robbed of the inner need to play dress up. So Lady took it down and held it up against herself, staring in the mirror just inside the armoire door.

Back in its day it was probably the perfect dress, but time had yellowed it a bit and the lace was a little crusted. Despite this she could almost imagine the ghost girl wearing these things. As the images ran through her head though a ghostly figured appeared in the reflection standing by the doorway just over her shoulder.

"I should very much like to see you in a dress."

Lady turned quickly on the spot to find Vergil leaning against the door frame and watching her rather interestedly. The dress had dropped to the floor when he startled her so she bent over to pick it up.

"That's not going to happen," she replied smoothly. "I'm not the dress wearing type."

She saw him move from the door frame and come walking towards her with a funny look in his eye. He took the dress from her hands before holding it up against her as she had before he scared her.

"You are quite right. This doesn't quite do you justice, does it?" He asked as he seemed to pick the dress apart with his eyes.

"Is that so?" Lady asked not exactly settled with his use of phrase. Was he implying she wouldn't look good in a dress?

"It is... Perhaps something simpler. Silk maybe?" He continued as he turned her around to stare at her own reflection, having dropped the dress back to the floor. "A silk evening dress in black with a long string of pearls around your neck..."

His hand came up over her shoulder and his fingers began trailing down into the opening of her shirt.

"Ha... You must be dreaming again," she said trying to hide the nervous twinge in her voice. Her skin tingled where his fingers were crawling so she took hold of his hand to stop his progress.

"It doesn't have to be a dream," he replied as he leaned down and left a single kiss on the side of her neck. "After all, it is my birthday tomorrow... What if I wanted you in a dress for dinner?"

"You mean you want me to _join_ you for dinner wearing a dress," she corrected. The corner of his mouth turned up in a smirk.

"Sure."

His hands began to run up and down her arms and Lady slowly felt threatened by his closeness. Well, not threatened, but she knew his moods now and this signaled danger. It threatened her chances of winning her bet with Dante.

"Why don't you try on the dress?" Lady asked comically trying to change the subject.

"Are you asking me to undress?" He retaliated as his eyes stared pointedly back at her in the mirror. Lady blushed and looked away. She had to figure out the best way to get out of this situation.

So she turned in his arms before realizing that facing him really didn't make anything any easier as he leaned into her.

"What is wrong with you today? You're acting... funny," he said suspiciously as she leaned away from him.

"Just not feeling well. I don't want you to catch it," she replied but realized immediately it was a stupid thing to say when a smile curved across his face.

"You _know_ I won't."

"I know, but I just don't feel very attractive at the moment. I'm covered in dust and everything." Lady argued.

"I like you a bit dusty."

Vergil leaned in without giving her much time to think. So Lady did the first thing that popped into her head and let out a sneeze that sent his face quickly flying back away from her. Lady rubbed at her nose as he just stared dumbfounded at the fact she had _sneezed_ on him.

"Sowwy," she mumbled with her best stuffed nose impression.

"Quite," was all he said as she handed him a handkerchief she'd found in the armoire. He accepted it and wiped his face. "Thank you."

"So see? It might not be such a good idea to get too close." Lady offered rubbing her nose again. She leaned down and picked up the dress with the intent to put it back where she found it, but as she did his hands came around her stomach causing her to stand quickly up until her back was pressed against him.

"Now you can sneeze all you want," he mused as he lowered his head down and gently kissed her neck, locking her to him possessively. Lady's eyes practically rolled back in her head at the singular feeling of his touch and before she knew it she was trapped between him and the armoire.

Instinctively her arms went up, holding onto the sides of the wooden structure to keep her balance as he leaned into her. Then his hands began fiddling with the buttons on her shirt. Lady's eyes opened, but before she could say anything she realized that she was being forced to watch what was going on via the mirror before her and that Vergil was _also _watching her reaction there.

Blushing, Lady tried to think of some excuse to get him off of her but her mind was so deliciously blank that she was dangerously close to submission and losing the bet on purpose. Her shirt opened and his hands explored her stomach and ribcage before coming to trail down to the buttons holding her skirt in place. Lady couldn't think, couldn't move because damn Dante... she didn't _want _to stop Vergil.

"Well, this cannot be good."

Lady's eyes flew up and saw... Artemis. He was in the mirror directly in front of them and holding one hand over his eyes, but his fingers were open just enough to show he could see.

She pushed away from the armoire, falling over as she pushed Vergil into a stack of boxes. The devil let out a sound much like getting the wind knocked out of him as boxes fell around him and some _on _him.

"Whoops." Artemis said as he realized he'd startled her. Lady however glowered towards him because obviously doing something like that _would've_ startled anyone.

"What the hell?" A voice roared from a sea of boxes. Lady, remembering Vergil, turned and began removing the boxes from him.

"Are you OK?" She asked when she finally found him.

"What is wrong with you?" Vergil asked as he angrily pushed boxes out of the way to stand.

"I got startled!" Lady replied as she pointed towards Artemis.

"By what?"

Lady blinked at Vergil. What did he mean by _what_? She was pointing right at Artemis who had climbed his way through the mirror to stand in their reality.

"He can't see me, only you can." Artemis explained as he dusted himself off.

"What?" Lady asked turning back towards Artemis.

"Yes, what?" Vergil repeated.

"He can't hear me either." Artemis continued when he no doubt realized that Lady was digging herself a deeper hole. "Tell him it was a rat or something."

"A rat," she said quickly pretending that she'd turned back towards Artemis to look for this elusive _rat_. "A big, hairy rat with silver eyes. Disgusting." Lady continued.

"Hey... That's not funny at all." Artemis said frowning.

Vergil walked over towards the armoire and looked inside causing Artemis to vanish only to appear standing by Lady.

"You should button up your shirt, you'll catch cold." Artemis offered.

Lady quickly remembered her current state and quickly began buttoning her top, blushing and glaring towards Artemis.

"If there was a rat it is gone now... What are you doing?" Vergil asked as he turned around to stare pointedly at her as she buttoned her shirt up.

"It's cold." Artemis whispered.

"It's cold," she repeated without fail.

Vergil moved towards her again but this time Lady was ready as she, again, sneezed on him. Artemis burst out laughing.

"That never gets old."

"Unbelievable..." Vergil sighed as he walked past her. "When you decide to stop behaving so strangely come find me."

Vergil walked down the stairs without a look towards her and slammed the door behind him. Lady suddenly felt very guilty and looked down.

"You OK?"

Lady turned quickly when she remembered she wasn't alone.

"What the _hell _are you doing walking in on people like that!" Lady hissed lifting her hand to point a finger in his face.

"I was asked to keep an eye on you and I intend on making sure you win this bet," he replied calmly even as he watched the finger between his eyes.

"Why?"

"Because Dante deserves to lose this one. You know he's only doing it to spite you two for making him the third party right? On top of that he keeps calling me for the stupidest things and frankly I am tired of helping him out. So, I want _you _to win," he replied with a devious smirk.

Lady lowered her hand before standing back with her hands on her hips.

"Well, you can't go around just popping in on people like that. I should smack you for what you saw."

"It worked in getting you free of him, did it not?"

"Regardless. If you are gonna pop in like that, do it before things go that far. I've killed demons for less than that." Lady said warningly.

"I'll try and remember that." Artemis said before a long and rather uncomfortable silence came between them. Then, chipper as if nothing had happened at all, Artemis said. "Soo... Things appear to be going well."

_He calls that well_?

"Where are you going?" Artemis asked as Lady suddenly turned towards the steps.

"_I'm_ going to blow my nose in the bathroom," she replied as she continued to move until she felt him walk after her. Lady turned around and pointed her finger at him. "And don't you _think _of following me. Whether in reality or in the bathroom mirror, is that clear?"

Artemis blinked twice, cocked his head to the side before nodding. He folded his hands against his stomach and just stood as she turned around and walked down the steps out of sight.

"Women...," he sighed morosely once she was out of earshot before vanishing into thin air.


End file.
